A Very Corporate Christmas

I'm working at Wal-Mart for Christmas this year
The department is toys, my lobotomy's near
The babies are screaming, the adults are stressed
Producers and merchants are doubly blessed
'Tis the season for profits and scams
For guilt trips and greed, thank the marketing man
'Tis the season for capital gains
For jacking up prices and going insane

Have a holly jolly merry corporate Christmas
Oblige the people to consume (to consume)
You can't put food on your plate
Even if there's a rebate
Have a holly jolly very corporate Christmas

I'm shopping for Jesus, consuming for Christ
Spreading the gospel of lowering price
Away in a manger, we now see the Lord
Bequeathing his bonus to corporate boards
Checking the stock price, revenue's up
Further enriching some opulent putz
Turn on the tube, I need Charlie Brown
But you know the commercials are grinding me down

Have a holly jolly merry corporate Christmas
Oblige the people to consume (to consume)
You can't put food on your plate
Unless you want your children's hate
Have a holly jolly very corporate Christmas

It's the most lucrative time of the year!

It's 12/24 and Im starting to snap
A desperate panic for overpriced crap
Parents are playing the role of St. Nick
It's a great holiday when you can lie to your kids
Santa sells cola, and everything else
All to the tune of those jingling bells
But you'd be better off if you listened instead
To another old man who also likes red

Have a holly jolly merry corporate Christmas
Oblige the people to consume (to consume)
You can't put food on your plate
Even if there's a rebate
Have a holly jolly very corporate Christmas